


butting heads and holding hands

by jude__the__dude



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gay Emily Prentiss, Secret Relationship, gender neutral reader, i love secret relationships if u havent realized, lots and lots of fluff, no one can convince me that emily is not gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jude__the__dude/pseuds/jude__the__dude
Summary: you thought you were being more than obvious when it came to your relationship with spencer, but apparently everyone thought you hated each other.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, The BAU Team/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 254





	butting heads and holding hands

“Okay we get it Reid, you’re a genius!” You huffed after one of Spencer’s many info-dumps of the day. 

“And you aren’t.” Reid scoffed. “What? Are you jealous, l/n?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes and flipped him off.

“No fighting in the bullpen!” Morgan called out to the two of you. “Seriously, we might need to put a chair in the corner or something.”

“And a little dunce hat.” Emily grinned maniacally. 

“It’s not my fault he’s so annoying!” You sputtered. 

Spencer gasped. “And it’s not my fault-”

“Hey!” JJ’s mom voice is apparently what was needed to shut you both up. “Morgan said no fighting in the bullpen. What does that mean?”

“That we shouldn’t fight in the bullpen.” You and Spencer replied simultaneously, heads down in shame. Clearly this wasn’t the first time you’ve had to have this conversation at work.

“Or anywhere for that matter.” JJ grumbled. “Now say sorry.”

“But JJ-” You whined. 

“No buts, apologize to Spencer.” Spencer looked at you with a smirk and you sighed. 

“I’m- Ugh! I’m sorry, Spencer.” You mumbled, not looking him in the eye.

Spencer grinned victoriously and puffed out his chest, as if he had won the little dispute. JJ quickly crushed his pride.

“You too, young man.” She looked at him pointedly. Spencer opened his mouth to retaliate, but JJ only had to send a glare his way to shut down that line of defence.

“I’m sorry too, y/n.” Spencer said through gritted teeth, eyes glaring at a specific spot on the ground and nowhere near you.

“Now hug it out.”

“JJ!” 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She laughed, raising her arms in surrender. “You should have seen your faces.”

“Oh my god, I wish I got that on tape.” Emily laughed with her.

Morgan’s eyes went wide. “Doesn’t Garcia have access to all the security footage?”

“Actually, Garcia technically has access to all security cameras that use the internet to transfer the footage from the camera itself to the computer or phone of the owner. Well, she doesn’t legally have access to it through her job, but we all know that would never stop her.” Spencer replied, not understanding the reason for Morgan’s question.

Without wasting a second, you got up and dashed to Garcia’s lair. Derek was quick to follow, but you had beat him by a solid four seconds.

“Garcia please don’t save the footage, please I beg of you!” You begged just as Derek walked in behind you.

“Babygirl, come on. We all know I’m your favorite.” He smirked. He had this in the bag, or at least that’s what he thought. “I need you to save the bullpen security footage from twelve oh two until twelve ten and send it to me.”

“Garcia, I swear to whatever deity you believe in if you do that I will never tell you a secret ever again in my life.”

Penelope gasped in shock, dropping the frilly pink pen she was holding. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“For once in your life Penny, don’t let Derek Morgan of all people take advantage of your technological genius!”

“He does not take advantage of me.” Penny gasped, in offence this time, before realization flowed through her features. “Oh my god, Chocolate Thunder have you been taking advantage of me?”

You pumped your fist in victory and walked out of the office. You and Garcia knew that Derek wasn’t taking advantage of her, but Garcia loved her play fights. And once one started, it wouldn’t end for a while. The footage of you and Spencer acting like five year olds was safe in the hands of Penny, for now at least.

:: :: ::

It wasn’t commonplace for you and Spencer to sit next to each other on the jet, yet it did happen on rare occasions. And every time it did, the same thing would occur.

You were slowly shimmying your elbow against his forearm until it slid off the arm rest. 

He didn’t notice of course, quickly lifting both arms to explain an obscure fact about the case, or a fact about a fact about the case. Either way, he didn’t notice until he would go to put his arm back on the arm rest.

When his arm lands on yours, he looks down in confusion, as if he was saying: that wasn’t there before. You would quickly look away, pretending you weren’t the culprit.

Then Spencer would use your tactic against you.

Slowly shimmying your forearm away with his elbow until the arm rest was his for the taking.

Your mouth opened in a silent gasp. You softly (not really) shoved his arm off the arm rest with a quick jab of your elbow.

“Hey!” He squeaked out. “That hurt!”

“Well, you had your arm on my arm rest.” You countered.

“It’s not yours.” Spencer replied.

“Yes it is.”

“Does it have your name on it?”

“It has my arm on it, you do the math.” 

Spencer harshly jabbed your arm with his elbow and you furrowed your brows. You retaliated and did the same to him. It quickly turned into an elbow fight, your arm would no doubt be littered in bruises come morning.

“Not this again.” Hotch sighed across from you. “Stop this, you two.”

“He started it!” You answered Hotch, eyes on Spencer and his attacking elbow.

“Nuh uh, you did!”

“Enough.” Hotch spoke, voice deep and commanding like always. He never needed to raise his voice to get his point across, he only did that for fun. “You two are federal agents, so act like it.” He reached his long arm across the table separating the two of you from him so he could flip up the arm rest. “There, no one gets the damn arm rest, alright?”

“Okay.” Spencer mumbled.

“One more fight and you’re getting desk duty.”

“Honey, go easy on them.” Emily cooed from her seat next to Hotch, clearly teasing you.

“No no, JJ should be saying that.” Derek reminded her, also clearly enjoying this.

“Oh yeah, right! She’s the mom!” Emily exclaimed, pointing at Derek on the couch. “Then what are we?”

“The two asshole older siblings.” You retorted, sticking your tongue out at her. 

“Mom, y/n said a bad word!” Emily called out to JJ, who was sitting in the two seater by the kitchenette with Rossi.

“Not here too.” You could hear JJ groan and drop her head on the table, causing you all to laugh.

A few moments later, when everyone had calmed down and the attention was no longer on you and Spencer, you laced your fingers with his under the table and sighed in relief.

“Is that what you wanted this whole time?” Spencer whispered in your ear, giving your hand a little squeeze.

“Maybe.” You shrugged with a giggle.

“God, you’re such a brat.” He groaned lightheartedly.

“Yeah, but I’m your brat.”

:: :: :: 

You and Spence were cuddling on the couch, Hercules playing on the tv (your choice of course), when the doorbell rang.

“Must be the pizza guy.” Spencer mumbled as he got up, pausing the movie as he did so.

“Really?” You replied, eyebrows furrowing as you checked the time. “I mean, I’m not complaining but they don’t usually come this quick.”

“Maybe they got a new delivery person and they drive faster.” Spencer shrugged, leaning down to kiss you on the forehead before he walked any farther away.

“Aw, I liked Charlie.” You pouted as he walked away from you and towards the door.

Spencer, opening the door and expecting hot cheesy pizza and someone asking for money, was obviously surprised to see two of his friends there instead. The same two friends who told everyone they were going out for drinks after work. The same two friends who he turned down because he was busy tonight.

“Uh, hey guys.”

“Hey Spencer!” Emily greeted, way too cheerfully to be sober. “You don’t mind if we come in, do you?” Both her and Derek barged in before Spencer could answer, Derek more out of necessity.

“Do I mind? Does it matter?” Spencer muttered to himself as he locked the door behind them after everyone was situated inside the apartment. “Is everything okay?”

“No actually, everything is not okay.” Derek spoke with a clear tone of annoyance in his voice. “Emily here is drunk.”

“I would say tipsy, but to each his own I guess.” Emily defended herself, interrupting Derek.

“And agreed to this stupid dare-”

“Reid, the girl was so pretty.” Emily interrupted again, eyes glazed over as she recalled the siren of a woman at the bar. “I told her I’m an FBI agent.”

“That she did.” Derek sighed. “And the girl asked her if she had handcuffs on her, which she did.”

“These aren’t government issue, though.” Emily tried to wink discreetly but failed miserably. “They’re from my personal collection.” She winked with every emphasized word and Spencer gulped, not wanting to learn anymore about Prentiss than he did within the last few seconds.

“Moral of the story pretty boy, Emily handcuffed us together and lost the key. And your apartment was the closest to the bar, that’s why we’re here.” Derek huffed, relieved to finally be able to tell Reid the events of tonight without getting interrupted. 

“I told Morgan we shouldn’t come here, Spencer.” Emily slurred her words slightly. “You said you were busy, before when we were at the off- bull- at the work.”

“Well, clearly he lied.” Derek pointed out.

“I didn’t lie! It’s movie-”

“Do you know how to pick a lock or not, kid?”

“I do.” You replied, casually walking from the living room over to Spencer’s bedroom to find a pair of sweatpants. “Lemme put some pants on first, I didn't know we'd be having guests tonight.”

Both Derek and Emily froze in their spots.

“Neither did I.” Spencer responded and your chuckle could be heard through the open bedroom door. “The more the merrier, I guess.”

“It’s a good thing we got that second pizza.” You smiled, coming out of the bedroom (now fully clothed) with a few bobby pins in hand. “Let me see.”

The handcuffed pair silently put their conjoined hands in yours and let you inspect it.

“Are you guys okay?” Spencer asked once he clocked their wide eyes. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“y/n.” Derek stated simply. 

“That’s my name.” You replied. “I’m gonna need you guys to hold still, alright? This won’t take me long, the lock mechanism is super simple.”

“Yeah, it’s meant to be in case of emergencies.” Emily replied, voice as if she was in a daze.

“Please don’t elaborate on that.” Spencer replied curtly. “Seriously, what's wrong? You were fine two seconds ago?”

“What is y/n doing in your apartment, Spencer?” Derek finally blurted out.

“Friday nights are our date nights?” Spencer replied as if this was common knowledge, which, to be fair, he thought it was.

“y/n wasn’t wearing any pants!” Emily giggled uncontrollably. “You weren’t wearing any pants!”

“That I wasn’t.” You smiled, amused at Emily’s behaviour. Drunk Emily was always your favorite. With a few more jimmies of your bobby pins, the handcuffs cracked open. “There you go, free at last.”

“Hold up, date night?!” Derek cried, circling back to Spencer’s previous statement. 

“Yeah, I thought you two hated each other.” Emily hiccuped as you lead her to the couch, Derek and Spencer following closely.

“What? Why?” Spencer asked, not expecting that assumption.

“You two are always bickering at work.” Derek reminded them. “You can barely stand each other.”

“We don’t always-” Derek sent you a glare that stopped you mid-sentence, reminding you of your bruise covered forearm from the jet ride two days ago. 

“Okay, maybe we bicker sometimes. But I thought we were being obvious about this.” Spencer replied, but it sounded more like a question. 

“We were intentionally keeping it a bit low key, but we thought you all knew.” You said, possibly more confused than Derek about the fact that they didn’t know. “We’re a literal team of profilers.”

“Rossi always said that the bickering was because of unresolved sexual tension.” Emily nodded, as if it all made sense now. 

Derek smiled in amusement at Spencer’s flushed face. “Yeah, but we all thought it would happen eventually. Not that it already happened and was in the process of happening.”

“Things have been ‘in the process of happening’ for a while now.” You teased, mirroring Derek’s unusual phrasing, before you smirked. “And trust me, nothing’s unresolved.”

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always appreciated :)


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